a year

didn't realize this blog has been around for a year.
congratulation on your 1st birthday, blog.
it was such a long year, wasn't it ?

heartless

You don't seem to be wavered by the lack of my existence.
it really is painful to see someone who you treated like everything treating you like nothing you know.
at least you're not pathetic like me. You have always been strong, being able to stand on your own like that.
I feel like disappearing right now.

heavy

I really want to hate you. I just can't.
That's why I hate myself instead.
All this time I've held your hands, wiped your tears, forgiven all of your mistakes
and the lonely one is me.
it's not a fair trade. I used to hope it so, but it wasn't.

Fun

sorry for ruining your fun time.
I know that I'm just a fun ruiner.
just a fun ruiner.

Lụy

I guess I'm really like "lụy tình" you know
people wouldn't like me for sure. I'm just too lụy tình.
Thank goodness I still want to live. Still...for what reasons, I don't know.
They say why I am so lụy tình.
I just wonder how can they be so oblivious to things that they have cared for like that, even though it's not whole or perfect anymore.
they have someone.
I have none.
see the difference ?
I think I should get used to with being alone then.
Like I've never felt that before.
but this time...
I don't know...
I think I'm all by myself.

villain

if I were in a fairy tale, I think I would be the villain, the bad guy, the big boss.
or a tragic villain.
for example, like the Ice Queen.
She's cold-heart, lonely, selfish, doesn't care if a young boy end up being like her.
just because she wants somebody to accompany her with.
I feel like that right now.

busy

I guess I should make myself busy.
living cold-heart wouldn't be such a bad idea right now, would it ?
I think I should leave you alone.
Only that you're not alone.
I fucking hate myself. I hate it.